It’s the Little (or Big) Things in Life

"It's my mission to share this with the world and to let them know that there is life on the other side of those dark times that seem so hopeless and helpless. I want to show the world that there is life -- surprising, wonderful and unexpected life after diagnosis." - Demi Lovato

To you, this may look like a simple plate of food and truthfully, it is. But to me, it’s so much more than that. Cooking a meal is something that I’ve worked years to be able to do again. I couldn’t help but give thanks to God as I looked at my plate of food tonight. A few short years ago, I wasn’t able to cook. It’s not that I didn’t know how to, but because I physically couldn’t. For years, my depression remained in a debilitating state and the thought of cooking even the smallest thing was exhausting. Any recipe with more than three ingredients was most definitely out of the question so cereal was my staple meal. It was so easy and quite honestly, all I was capable of. There was no point in buying groceries when the thought of putting together any type of meal was daunting. Some days, even pouring cereal and milk into a bowl was enough activity for the day. My brain and body just couldn’t take it. Everything just…hurt.

The depths of my sadness was unexplainable and my will to live was non-existent. I didn’t want to die, but I also didn’t want to live another day in that state of mind. I will never be able to explain the heaviness of the depression that I felt and it’s something I hope I never have to experience again. I wanted to do everything but having the brain power and energy to do so was virtually impossible. It wasn’t just sadness. It was an emptiness that is unimaginable and my daily fight consisted of attempting to find a way to escape it. Tonight was bittersweet, just as many other moments have been lately. As I sat down to eat, I looked at my plate and thought “Man, God is so good”. Just a few short years ago, I would have never been able to cut up veggies to make a salad, make my own salad dressing, boil water for mashed potatoes, or throw together a delicious meatloaf from a recipe containing over 15 ingredients. I hope God knows just how thankful I am for how far He has brought me. What some may see as a silly plate of food, is truly a reminder of how He rescued me from a darkness when I no longer wanted to live. I love how much He loves me. ♥️

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." - 1 Peter 2:9